


Just A Little Bit of Your Heart

by elmosolyodnius



Category: Descendants (2015)
Genre: Angst, Based on a song, M/M, Sadness, This is not Happy, i just really needed to get this out, imagination will need to be used, or very well written, sorry - Freeform, tons of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 20:04:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5640229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elmosolyodnius/pseuds/elmosolyodnius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So I was listening to Ariana Grande and felt angsty as fuck so I wrote this. IT’s basically a very depressed Carlos in a very bad relationship. This fanfic, now that I think about it, sucks, so I’m just shooting it into the void. (Sorry if I sound very self-hating right now; my brain hates me.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just A Little Bit of Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to this before, while, or after reading. It’s the live version. And if you’re asking, “does it really matter?”
> 
> YES. YES IT DOES. THE STUDIO CAN”T HOLD A CANDLE. And maybe you don’t like the singer, or even the song, but I like the way she sang this, with piano. And the violins. I just love the violins.
> 
> Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7OwCs0snj4
> 
> I may make a sequel from Jay’s point of view based on The Weeknd song “Angel”, but I’m not sure.

As Carlos trudged across the icy, foot-deep snow of the courtyard, his booties being penetrated with unnatural freeze, his heart was pumping, his brain churning.  And he  _ hated  _ it.

He was sick of feeling this way.

_ No. _

_ He was sick of being used to it. _

 

_ \---------------------------- _

 

Carlos and Jay had started going out 3 months before. After months on unrequited love finally returned, he had been excited to see what it had meant to “love someone.” To have that connection, completion; he had hoped to find the feelings that had eluded him all those years with the love of his life. Or so he had thought.

‘ _ How foolish of you,’  _ he thought bitterly, walking through the frozen wasteland.

It had been good at first. They held hands, said ‘I love you’, cuddled together, shared their hopes, dreams, fears.

He doubted Jay had listened to him, even back then, but Carlos had seared Jay’s response in his memory. Jay wanted to become a professional tourney player, travel the world, be his own person. His fear was being tied down.

“Because I’m just a burden,” Carlos spat. “Always have.”

Those times had been  _ beautiful,  _ but Carlos could see he no longer was enough. The “I love you”s turned fake, the touches made their skin crawl, all confessions ran sour.

Carlos had started to notice puffed red lips that didn’t match his own, hints of perfume that he never wore. And while Evie and Mal had encouraged him to confess his feelings, or better yet, leave the older boy, he couldn’t. The broken boy was  _ his,  _ even if Jay didn’t realize it yet.

So Carlos ignored the winks from those ‘good girls’ who knew exactly what they were asking for, the hidden language of their eyes that Carlos was never able to decode. How the blonde’s heart sank as Jay looked away from him to gaze at something much more ‘interesting.’ And his heart broke  _ every time. _

But goddammit if that boy wasn’t all he wanted.

Back on the island his mother had the unfortunate trait of taking away all he cared about. And he had already taken out his feelings on this boy; he had nothing left to give.

So he had contented himself with never being Jay’s first choice. But it wasn’t working, and the pain was escaping, and it was  _ breaking him. _

But it was all so worth it when Jay remembered who had loved him first. When Carlos’s prince wrapped him up in his arms, kissed him like a dream, muttered ‘ _ I’m sorry. Forgive me darling.’ _

Those moments, however, were fleeting, forgotten in the morning, and it was getting harder to let it go. 

Carlos sobbed. ‘ _ I deserve more, don’t I?’ _

But he didn’t deserve it. Mal did, Evie did, Jay was close, and Carlos was always too far; that’s why he settled for second.

Settled for never being cared about, making excuses when apologies were due, attempting to save a relationship crashing on the shores.

And  _ never being happy.  _ He had forgotten what it felt like. And over time, the sight of that thief no longer made his heart flutter it; it was stoned. The butterflies flew away, the tingles sharp spines pushed into his flesh. But Jay’s love was all he had, and he wasn’t going to look for a new one: the original effort had almost killed him. But he’d live, he always did.

‘ _ Just a little bit of your heart Jay,’  _ he whispered outside their door. ‘ _ That’s all I want of you, all I ask. Just give me that baby, if nothing else.’ _

_ “Please.” _

Carlos took a deep breath and opened the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me if you like it. Or hate it.
> 
> I may make a sequel from Jay’s point of view based on The Weeknd song “Angel”, but I’m not sure. Tell me what you think.


End file.
